a busy sea of spinning wheels

So, it's been weeks since I posted. I guess I've been lacking words lately. I've been participating in the Flickr 365 Days Self Portrait Challenge, which has taken up a lot of my creative energy.

I've also been sick, pretty much non-stop, for over a month now. Which, if you know me, is highly unusual. I had a little breakdown last night, when I realized that I've probably been so sick because I've been dealing with this constant low-level of stress due to lack of steady employment. I thought I was dealing with it okay, but I don't think I really am. I know that so many other people are going through the same stress and worry, but that doesn't really make me feel any better. I feel like I have a dozen balls in the air, and dropping any one of them will result in catastrophe.

At this point, I'm working really hard to retrain myself back to the way I lived in 2000/2001, not spending unnecessarily, looking for bargains, reusing what I can. Like so many other Americans, in the past few years I think I had developed a disposable lifestyle, which seriously needs to change.

One of my bright spots is my boyfriend. Because I don't like to use real names here, and I'm tired of using letters, for the sake of the blog I'm calling him Skitch. Our relationship is so weird to me. I guess that fact that we knew each other for years before we started dating makes things different. We settled so quickly into this strong relationship, built on trust and open communication. Because I am an eternal pessimist, part of me keeps thinking that it can't be this easy, but lucky for me he is an optimist and assures me that sometimes, it just is this easy.

My sister is getting married this weekend, so tomorrow Skitch and I are driving down to Ohio for the wedding. I think he is a brave man, meeting my ENTIRE family in one day. I'm going to keep count of how many times we get asked if we're "next" and how many times people comment on how little and cute we are. I think maybe I need to bring a bottle of scotch.